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Today, 02:29 AM

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found these today

  7,287 Views · 735 Replies ( Last reply by partyhooker )

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You remember that thing that David did? Not Goliath. Check this, yo.

Today, 02:19 AM

Posted by bleenko in General Nonsense

I just got kicked out of my favorite skate spot. It's cool.

But I wanted to tell you all at MOC a little story they don't tell in Sunday School.

Some of you may have heard it.

But sit with me for a moment.
Gracie, you there? This one is pretty interesting.

 

Okay, so David led the Ark back into Israel. He was feelin it, yo! The bible said he danced before the Lord with all his might.

He was so happy he gave everyone in Israel a bottle of wine and some other thing I can't remember.

But here's the kicker.

His wife, Michal, Saul's daughter,

comes up to him and is like 

"You vain man! You uncovered and shamed yourself like the base ruffians!"

You women know the type.

Hair curlers. Frying pan in her hand.

But what does my man David do?

 

"Woman, God chose me king.

I will be had by MY HANDMAIDENS, IN HONOR."

 

How many concubines did God give David?
Some of you guys have never had that many girls in all your life!

And David was had by Saul's menagerie of lovelies in one night!

 

And David was a man after God's own heart.

He believed.

What's stopping you?

peace out.

  384 Views · 44 Replies ( Last reply by partyhooker )

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GET JEALOUS aka RECENT PURCHASES THREAD...

Today, 02:14 AM

Starting this again...I recall it was pretty popular...

I expanded my Brit Motorsports Fleet today

Hello Cooper!

  8,210 Views · 762 Replies ( Last reply by partyhooker )

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How do you spell 'testicles'?

Today, 02:13 AM

Serious answers only

  106 Views · 7 Replies ( Last reply by partyhooker )

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Dumb stuff you find inexplicably hilarious

Today, 02:09 AM

The shibe doge thing has really caused me to laugh way harder than I could ever reasonably justify

  2,329 Views · 348 Replies ( Last reply by partyhooker )

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OMG That's totally not you: The ID photo debacle

Today, 12:30 AM

Digital photography has made it possible to really butcher ID photos. And they were usually pretty shitty to begin with.

 

Share the good shit here.

this actually looks a lot better cropped online than it does on my ID. fuckin a

thugglyfe2_zpsfac3f3eb.jpg

  183 Views · 23 Replies ( Last reply by thegrouch314 )

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what is awesome for you right now?

Today, 12:28 AM

Posted by math in General Nonsense
I'm taking vacation this week, just turned off all of my wakeup alarms.

  24,133 Views · 2,436 Replies ( Last reply by gummiskor )

  307 Views · 37 Replies ( Last reply by Dr_Funkenstein )

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Just omg. It's summertime.

Yesterday, 08:07 PM

Posted by page-one in General Nonsense

  117 Views · 2 Replies ( Last reply by ijustcame )


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